So as you learned back in October in my “Let’s Play Catch-Up” post, I work for a weight loss company. Part of working for a weight loss company is that you weigh in A LOT of people. To some it is just a number but to others it might as well be life or death. Also, at the scale you learn a lot about a person…. so here are the 5 types of people who get on the scale….
1. The Avoider…how long can I stall?! Maybe if I keep talking about my cute, new puppy and crazy, ex boyfriend she will forget that I need to weigh in and that brownie I ate will totally be void this week. I’ll just keep telling her about my awesome plan to go to the gym this coming week so she doesn’t have to know about that whole bag of potato chips. I’ll totally work it off this week…well maybe. Shit! She didn’t forget! What can I do now…time for plan B…I need pee, that totally buys me 3minutes!
2. The Stripper… How many items of clothing can I take off and it still be acceptable for me to be on the scale standing beside a total stranger? If I take off more than I did last week then it will be like I lost more weight than I really did and if I don’t lose as much next week, I will be able to blame it on heavy clothes that week. Perfect plan…let me first take off my light weight sweater, shoes, socks, bobby pin, lipstick, belt, necklace, ring, ponytail holder, belly button lint…Perfect!
3. The “Don’t Tell Me, I Can’t Look”… I’m just going to step on the scale backwards and not look unless I did good, in that case totally tell me and I want to see. Oh and if I didn’t do good I am about to confess to eating my whole refrigerator, pantry, and tray of cookies at my neighbors house. Then tell you about how I haven’t worked out all week and I might have binged watched the entire first and second season of Scandal while drinking a bottle of wine and eating a bag of fun sized snickers….but hey they were fun sized, thats got to count for something!!
4. The Overly Emotional…. I AM THE MOST AMAZING PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! Let me sing and dance and scream and let the whole world know, I just lost 1/2 a pound…. and now I am skinny!!! I did everything perfect and I am so awesome.. its like unicorns are jumping over rainbows and singing in voices of angels! (as a consultant, I love these people but far too often get—>) OH NO!!! The world is coming to an end… I GAINED 1/2 a pound the week of Christmas where I had three parties, a family dinner, and a cookie exchange!!! Time for that total stranger to put on her therapist hat and grab the box of tissues, I may need to be admitted to the hospital…my body has to have something wrong with it, I did ALL the right things!! I should be losing like 12lbs a week!!! This could quite possibly be the worst day of my life!!
5. I’m Totally Going To….never ever see that number again! It is too high, I must lose weight! I’m going to do it this week!….But I am not going to give up my nightly bottle of wine, bag of Cheetos, caramel-frappa-mocha-double-shot-extra-whip-hotty-totty-1400000000calorie latte, or even consider exercising. Yea…I am 100%, totally on board the losing weight train! I am going to have a great week and I am going to tell you the EXACT same thing next week when I am STILL DISAPPOINTED in the number.
So there you have it, the 5 types of people you meet come weigh in time…..
I know this post was a little out of the ordinary for me but I thought you could all use a little glimpse of into what a day in the life of a weight loss consultant looks like…. And don’t get me wrong, I love each of these people. The avoider, you give me a good laugh, your creativity is fantastic. The stripper, you scare me at times, please keep your clothes on! I don’t want to see all that! Mister (Miss) I can’t look, I know you are peaking, and I am okay with that! The Overly Emotional person, I’m always here to support your roller-coaster no matter how high or low it is. And finally the I’m going to do it…you’re not fooling me but I can’t wait for the ah-ha moment when you really let me help you get to your goal.
Happy Tuesday Y’all!